Babies, Crits, and Land of Cheese

Weekend day #1

Well, Sat I drove 5 hours to attend my first coed baby shower. Got pulled over for rolling a stop sign, damn racial profiling.

Then drove 90 minutes to see the friend's new baby.

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Then at 9:30pm we finally arrived at my baby's granddaddy's and grandmomma's where I quickly fell asleep.

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Exciting day, eh?

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Weekend day #2

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Sunday arrives in WI with great weather. The baby's momma and I chill outside (in da hood o' course) and watch the Rolex's to know when to roll out. We jammed out of the hood packing heat cause that is howz we do it. A stop at the Gap outlet store and we were out to hang wit da homies.

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Mad town waz call'n and I saw my peeps hanging at the crit. The Moore brothers tell of their gangsta first and second place rides in the ghetto of WI da previous day. Signed up, put the 9mm away, and it was crit time.

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The other gangs were popping their homies off the front all race, but none of them were true O.G.'s that could back it up. The last straight away was where it was going down.

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The sprint was like this: boxed in at about 6th, frustrated with 1st riding away, find a hole, sprint around group to go for it, one of them swerves as I go by and my left shoe says hello to his front wheel, he swerves away and then back and it is my rear wheel that doesn't budge as he ends up going down, he breaks his collarbone, ambulance comes. I spend the rest of the day feeling guilty and trying to figure out if there was anyway I caused him to go down (I am sure I did not), not about how I got 2nd place in my first true cat 3 race.

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Riding in 3rd position. Close to the front, but out of the wind.

The sprint. Me upright on the left. The winner upright on the right. I circled the rider who had gone down. I hope he recovers quickly.

The weekend was full of frustrations. To top it off we came across an accident on our way home. I guy on a motorcycle had gone down and we had the unfortunate experience of seeing his lifeless body on the road.

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Remember folks, we live on borrowed time. Try to keep it all in perspective out there...

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but for now you should get back to work.

Riding in shorts once again!

Dude, I did my second ride this year with shorts! Sweet tanlines here I come, so look out ladies!

Went out Tuesday, found my favorite loooong climb (by MN standards) and spent the next hour doing hill repeats up it at an intense pace. Most hills seem to be treat me fine, but those really steep ones put the wood to me. As Sugar Daddy says (in his best Keith Bontrager voice). "climbing, sprinting, time-trialing. Pick Two." I told him I wanted climbing and sprinting, but I guess it doesn't quite work that way. What kind of coach is that?

This Wednesday saw who has fragile egos (hand raised). A more modest ride got ramped up and ended with three of us waaaaay off the front. We got a little out of hand, but by breaking away we proved that we must be really well endowed.

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Other then that, the days are finally getting warmer. I have a crit this weekend in WI that hopefully will go well. I have to travel to other states now where riders don't know about my patented 15 mph attacks. They have no idea what is in store for them.

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Do you get paid by the hour to read this crap? Get back to work, there are millions on welfare depending on you.

Sex, hills, and gett'n dropped.

The Oxbow Classic is just that. Infamous for it's Oxenburg climb with grades up to 22% and non-traditional gravel roads.

If you are a consistent reader here (may God help your soul) you may remember the bad incident with the eggbeater pedals. With the thought of my 12/24 hour races planned for this year I wanted to avoid a mechanical, so I bought some new Time pedals. Much better quality, better piece of mind. Only problem was that they came with a 50 gram weight penalty, uh oh.

Well we all lined up for the "A" race. This would be my first race with cat 1/2 riders in it. There must have been a sale down at The Gap because 9 of the 12 A1 riders were all wearing the same outfit. How embarrassing! The proverbial gun went off and I went to the front to put in one of my patented 15mph attacks. Because everyone was still fresh I was not able to break free.

Then we hit the Oxenburg hill. I was in great position towards the front, but that is were the good ended and the bad started. Remember that 50 gram weight penalty with my new pedals? Yup, you guessed it, I got dropped on the hill. Not be done in by my own pedals I gave chase and got into contact with the front group again a mile later.

Towards the end of the 1st lap I moved towards the front again with the legs feeling great. I wanted to have as much of an advantage when we hit the Oxenburg considering the huge weight problem with the pedals. Then those bastards dropped me again. Once again, I gave chase and I caught back on. On the way up the next biggest hill on the backside of the course my legs cramped and that was all she wrote. I drank a bunch of water and started the futile chase. It was not to be this time. I finished up the 2nd half of the course by myself, riding just under the effort that would bring back the cramps. Don't know how I finished. I do know that Velorochester took 3 of the top 4 spots in the A2's (and the win). They were all riding much lighter pedals then I was, bastards.

******Warning the following has sexual content (but no reference to nappy headed hoes)**********
The one cool thing, as I was completing the last lap something interesting occurred. A blue truck was making its way up the hill I was descending, only I could not identify a driver. It was not until I got closer that I saw the BACK of a girl (wearing a flowered tank top by the way) bouncing up and down in the drivers seat. Knowing there would be boyfriend checking his rear view mirror I threw up the Hollywood "party on" sign and continued to the bottom. Later I asked my wife if we could get a truck to replace my Jetta.

The steepest section of the climb.


Me trying to overcome the huge gravitational pull from my "heavy" pedals.
The group after they left me for dead.
Trying (unsuccessfully) to get back into contact with the group.


Those bastard pedals. I still plan on keeping them because I figure a 50 gram weight penalty is better than a broken spindle or chowed bearings, but it is still disappointing.



I guess it was just one of those days.

That was a long one today. Do you suppose your boss actually thought you were working?

Thanks to www.skinnyski.com for the pics.

Oxbow Classic

Ultra quick recap.

I didn't win (I heard you gasp).

I saw a couple having sex (yes, that is true).

Now to go out dancing to celebrate my baby's momma bff's birthday.

Easter

Easter. A time to reflect on the important things in life like dyed eggs, chocolate bunnies, and something that has to do with going to church. Not sure what that last one has to be in there, but it is kinda like Christmas time. Just when you are all pumped about opening presents you have to go to church. Hmmph. How did the Churches convince people to come on days that were obviously designed for days off and presents? They are sneaky I tell you.



Becky and my sister Kim. Kim likes to give the visual impression that

A) She is a boy.

B) She worships the devil

C) She doesn't have a boyfriend (by the nickname of Fuzzy)

D) All of the above.

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Did I mention she is getting confirmed next week?. We are prepared for a lot of kicking and screaming.

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Old man Geller (Becky's dad) looking like a sissy dying eggs. He can usually be found with a Pepsi in one hand and a bag of Old Dutch chips in another.

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Nina on the 4 hour car ride home says, "Daddy, I'm tired!"

We got back in time for me to head out to do a lap of the Oxbow course. The sun is low and the shadow is long.

This is the Oxenburg. It will kick your ass. Maybe not the first time up it, but definitely by the last lap. A large portion of this is at 22%. I made it up in my 39X23. I am not doing that 4 times this Saturday! (Note, the gravel road in the distance is the same road.)

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There will be many casualties at Oxbow. This critter only made it down the hill from the Oxenburg before he conked out. Poor little fella. Cashew would bring him home and throw him in the microwave. Just like he was planning on doing with his week old coffee.

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Headed home on the Douglas trail. Too much crap on the bars.

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It is supposed to snow tomorrow. How funny is that?

Yahoo

So I did a Yahoo image search on my first name. Here are the 1st three pictures that popped up.

Check it out, my name in lights.

Dude, check out that hairdo!

Uhhhhh, I don't know about that.

So I think I like the first one the best.

Climbing with Cashew.

Hit the hills today. Sustained (well as sustained as you can get here in Rochester) threshold climbing was the order of the day. Me on the Paragon, Cashew was on his Trek Madone full of Boron. I thought I rode strong, but my pedals were all in one piece at the end. Obviously, I was stronger Sunday. Together we climbed and climbed. I didn't bring the camera, so here I am finishing up the ride in the kitchen. Cheesy? Yes. Brilliant at the same time? Just maybe.

Nina sees you.

Yo, yo. Gizel to the wizel.

POWER.

Did my threshold testing this weekend. I am officially 10% stronger then I was a in November. The impressive thing was not that I was stronger, but that the need to hurl (like last time) was replaced with the strength and energy to go for a ride afterwards. The ability to recover after hard efforts will be key in my big races this year.

I am so strong now look at what I did to my pedals the next day. Yeah, I am bad ass now. Or was that fat ass? Uhh, never mind.

Work, shmurck.

Time on the bike.

Met up for the first Saturday group ride on this bad ass bike. Me and 15 of my closest friends tackeled 3 1/2 hours of asphalt. Not wanting to look like pussys J-No and I added a loop at the end which added 45 minutes to our ride. According to him we got in about 80 miles at roughly a 19 mph average. Felt like I could have gone longer...

Then went out Sunday for almost 3 hours of "bonding" with my woman on this beast. Three things that can make it a hard ride; tandem, 25 mph headwind, threshold intervals. Legs were toasty by the end.

Why do I do this? So I am not this guy...

...when I show up for to race on this bad mamma jamma.

At this point I already feel stronger than any point last year and I can "pinch" less as well. Cross my fingers, but things are looking good so far.

Netflix rocks.

Went to a movie this weekend with the Baby's Momma. Usually we watch movies from Netflix at home, but she really wanted to see Sandra Bullock's husband die. Just to give a background, my woman has a minor in Special Education and has worked at an Easter Seals Camp. She has extensive experiance with those that are mentally and physically disabled.

At this movie there were 2 gentleman in wheel chairs that were making a large amount of noise. They had 2 people there to help them, but they did nothing. According to Becky, they were more interested in watching the movie. After 30 minutes of this very loud yelling and moaning, a manager came in to observe. At the appearance of the manager the 2 people in wheel chairs were quiet. All of a sudden the 2 in charge were doing their job and there was silence. Well, the manager disappeared from view (but not from the room) and the noise started again. This time he asked them to leave. The 2 teenage helpers could barely peal themselves from watching the movie as they left. It is too bad that those who are less abled are often cared for by people who don't care (I have seen this more than once).

Then a group of ladies sat down in front of us. One of them was wearing enough purfume to knock out a horse. On top of that, it seems that all of the teenagers like to sit in the front rows and text their friends during the entire movie. I counted at least 4 that were constantly texting. You can't help but notice the bright light emitted in those dark theatres.

So as far as my senses go, I was distracted by sight, smell, and hearing. Too bad I didn't get some stale popcorn and had some butthead kicking my chair.

Thank God for Netflix. They kick ass. No late fees, don't have to leave the house, and free of buttheads.

Gonna go do some tempo intervals now. What are you doing?

Riding with the fearsome threesome.

Went out on a reconnaissance ride with 3 of the top 6 riders in the MNSCS series yesterday. Just under 4 hours of gravel grinding and exploration. Did the Oxenburg on the Oxbow Classic course, and then went farther North and West were there are very few flat sections, and plenty of elevation changes.

From left to right. Chris Fischer, Brendan Moore, Me (with eyes closed dreaming about my Supercal), and Ben Moore. I was the only one without the "team" helmet. So sad.



Guys...hey guys...hey guys wait up!

Chris used this ride to get in some motor pacing behind the team car. He could barely maintain the 13 mph pace and finely cracked. Brendan calls this "caveman" motor pacing.

Today I went out by myself today to get in a couple of hours with some steady long intervals thrown in. One thing is for sure, I am consistantly working a lot harder this year then last.

Now I get to cut tile for the trim in our bathroom. Do you wanna help?

Guest Blogger.

The following is from a OG Homeboy of mine, Cory "put a rock in your jersey" Gross. We go way back. Including working at a shop in da hood.

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The story you’re going to read is about a time when Charly rode outside (in Utah). About 9 years ago to the day, in Moab. It was spring 1998, Charly was fresh out of UW Lacrosse on spring break, and I was one year into my first job out of college as an applications engineer. I was going to be working in Colorado and Utah for a week. Afterwards, Charly was going to fly out and meet me at the Denver Airport for a week of riding in Moab, and then a marathon drive back to MN for work/school on the following Monday. After “sales” visits at the Coors Brewery and Alta Ski Resort, my work was done, and I returned to Denver to pick Charly up and proceed to the land of slickrock(s).

Once there, we decided that we weren’t going to spend any extra money. Soon after booking a hotel room for one person, Charly was caught by the owner of the hotel sneaking into the fire exit to avoid coming through the front lobby. Pay for a camping spot - no way! We only camped at the "free" spots near the river. We didn’t exactly splurge for the best maps either.

Our first ride was at the Slick Rock Trail - halfway through it started to rain, snow and hail. We slid back to the hotel soaking and freezing. Not a great start to our epic riding week. We decided to ride the Poison Spider Mesa Trail to redeem ourselves. Pop Tarts, Granola Bars, Water and spare tires were loaded into our Camelbaks and we set off. Somewhere along the trail we decided that a 3-4 hour ride just wasn’t going to cut it. No, we needed to ride “epic.”

The map showed a nice little skinny spotted line that was advertised as the Gold Bar Rim Trail, which looped out towards the rim of the high cliffs that you view on the hwy heading south into Moab. At this point we had a good supply of water, food and humor. Charly was talking smack at a healthy rate, and was doing his best to channel any number of members from the group NWA.

Kerins (sp?), or three stacked rocks, were scattered every ¼ mile to let us know which way to go. Things were great, we owned this trial. We were hucking sick 1 foot drops, and walking the real drop-offs. Then, the Kerins stopped appearing. The terrain got rough. It all looked the same. We looped back and found a familiar spot but couldn’t figure out which way was out. Out of nowhere, a local guy rode right past us on a four wheeler, didn’t stop, just kept going. We followed his direction for 5 minutes and were completely lost again. The “trail” we were on was getting way too hard to ride. This repeated for the better part of an hour. We started doing the math. Sunset vs time to get off this so-called trail, - it didn’t seem good. We ate all of our pop tarts, drank nearly all of our water, and started to get just a little worried, and tired too. Now, many of you know Charly as a smack-talker who could make Terrell Owens self-conscious, and as a smart-ass who might bring a whoopee cushion to a funeral parlor, but he was pretty quiet at this point. We were getting owned by the Gold Bar Rim Trail, and we didn’t have that much to say about it.

It was after 5pm, and we were still following this trail, reflecting on our decision to follow a skinny dotted line on a cheap map. Then, we saw the sign warning riders of the deadly Portal Trail. We finally arrived at a spot we could locate on the map! We decided our luck was not running anywhere near the level needed for the portal loop, and we headed out on the remaining part of the Poison Spider Trail. Our legs were fried, our minds were mush, and we slogged through the last part of trail and rolled into town to our hobo campsite just as the sun had set and the moon was coming out. Epic.

After that, we ate Mexican food, and stayed on the well marked trails the rest of the trip. The picture below is Charly on a ride we did later in the week. Shortly after this picture, he relieved himself on the top of a high cliff, just as a strong wind picked up from the canyon below - it created a disgusting natural phenomenon that I hope to never experience again. Good times.

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Yes, that jersey is real...real sweet! I still have it by the way.

For the record, the next day we were at a bike shop when we overhead an employee exclaim that the rider should not ride on the Gold Bar Rim trail. "People die out there", was her exact qoute. In the hood you learn how to survive.

Now go to work smiling with Cory's writings in your head.

Notes from the desk of Jo Mama

The weather warmed up some and do you know what that means? Everyone brings their bike in for a tune-up.... at the same time. It is really interesting to see these people flock in like geese flying back North from the winter. They bring in bikes with deflated tires and dusty frames asking us to "grease" them up.

Although I have only gotten one so far, my favorite are the ones that "need" them back the next day. If they "needed" them back so bad they should have brought them in a week ago when we had nothing to do. Now you can't put air into a tube without 2 bikes rolling in for repairs.

It will be nice when Ben gets back from school to help. Assuming he is still alive. He started off a blog with a bang...3 months ago. Yeah, he is updating that thing like a mad man! You hear me Ben? Get off your butt and give me something to read. If you have time, go there and put a comment down to that effect. I just did. Use derrogatory names if needed.

Other than bitching about bikes and people I have been riding them. Outside even! Yesterday was intervals on the Paragon. Today it is a fun ride with J-No on the Madone. I bought the third duplex from J-No. His basement leaks. I am going to try to put the hurt on him this morning as payback. That will show him!

Today's odd picture.

I think he might be going to work. You?

Single file line.

Warm weather + antsy riders = Riding outside.

Saturday went out with a group of 8 people were we got our road bike on. The 5.9 Madone still kicks ass. I can tell the training is coming along nice as I took all the "town sprints" without having to try hard, or no one else bothered (hmmmm). The hills are still harder than the flats, but I can tackle them a little easier this year. No pics of the 2 1/2 hour sausage fest, sorry.

Sunday was a different group ride. I got pictures this time and not as many riders joined me.




From left to right; Spaz, Me, My Baby's Momma.

Our chariot awaits.

Roads were nice. Weather was reasonable. Still plenty of white.

Stopping to answer the call of nature.


Despite this being Becky's first ride this year, our pedaling action always seemed to be in tandem of one another. Tandem, get it? Damn, I am funny! Seriously, she did awesome. We are both stronger this year. That 2 hour ride was nothing!

Sugar Daddy was worried about me getting in my threshold intervals. I found those can be done on the tandem without problem.

The shop was certainly busy. Everyone was bring in there bikes for tune-ups. Guess who gets to do that!

I am very anxious for it to warm up further for more riding mayhem.

Work.

Let's go for a ride.

I had a chance to get off work early and with the sun out I could hear the Paragon calling, "Charly, come ride me". Then I heard another voice say, "that's what she said". Oh well, I suited up and headed out. Sunny and about 20 degrees.

Oh, was the Paragon excited!

Headed out on the pavement. I hit many hills, but concentrated on keeping the effort low on the ascents.

Headed out on some gravel. I got the lobster gloves in the pic as well. We in the blogging business call this a two for one shot. If you think that is lame then you are in fact lame.

I brought a Y-wrench and made small adjustments to my positioning while out. Here I just pointed the nose down a touch on the seat. Then I took a blurry picture. Then I put it on the blog, and now you are looking at my blurry picture.

I tried to ride the Mayowood trails. There was a packed trail, but it was only 5 inches wide (yes I went back and measured with a ruler). If you even thought of letting the tire off of the trail this is what you got. It was damn near impossible to stay on the trail.

This is a super expensive home (I should know, I own it and rent it to these people). I was told the lots (yes lots) used to build it on were around $500,000. They even have their own underground garage.

This is the crappy job of snow removal there was on the street in front of that house. I thought it ironic.

GOOD AFTERNOON ROCHESTER!!

It was 2+ hours of fun (that's what she said). Now they both sleep.

This ride was brought to you today by toe warmers. With their adhesive back and warming radiance, my tootsies were toasty.

I am going to bed now, then going to work.

Don't you have to work??

New celebrity??

It is amazing how our little ones grow up so fast. Nina (seen here) has taken the Paris Hilton route and is trying to use her parent's vast real estate empire to bring celebrity status to herself. Nina figures she can be another spoiled heiress. The following are some "paparazzi" pictures that will soon see there way into the celeb news.

This is her coming out of a local hot spot...drunk (ala Paris).



She loves the camera and is more than willing to pose for the photographers.

Here she is again posing. The rest of the photos will not be seen here because they contain graphic images (again, think Paris Hilton).

Back in simpler times before the glitz and glamour.

Well, that is it for today. You can be on the look out for Nina in the news. Also, watch for the release of the completely unauthorized movie featuring Nina; "Nina Tri: Doggy Style". It features footage of Nina that was meant for her own personnal use.

Yeah, I am bored and I am sure you are sick of the old "I was on the trainer again" thread.