Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Dear Paul B.

Dear Paul B.,

It was a usual Monday at the bike shop until you called wanting to trade in your girlfriend's and your bikes. I anxiously awaited your expected arrival. When you came in later you asked for me and then I helped you grab your 2 Madone road bikes out of you 2 door older model Mercedes Kompressor. As Matt checked over the bikes in the back for value we talked about possibly a new Trek Speed Concept that these bikes could go towards. You fancied yourself quite the triathlete and proudly proclaimed your 9 hour time at Ironman WI the year before. As we talked at the counter the front door opened. You looked over for a second and back at me with a little worry in your eye. It was a fully clothed police officer.

And I, with pride and cockiness in my voice, said "Yep, he's here for you".

You see Paul, you know those bikes were stolen in Wabasha. I don't know if you did it or a friend. What you didn't know is that your victims had bought the bikes at our shop. So when you called about trading "your" bikes in I got your name and number. Then I convinced you to come in. When you walked through those doors I already knew that you were from Arkansaw, WI, ran track in high school, you were about 20 years old, and had in your possession 2 expensive probably stolen bikes. Google and being attentive to people calling can get lots of info.

Now, I don't know if people trusted you before. But when the officer told me that the cost of the bikes meant you would be charged with a felony, I figured it couldn't be good for your reputation. As I went home to enjoy my night with my daughter, you were handcuffed in the back of the police car on your way to jail. Funny how life is when you have to pay for your actions.

I guess what I am saying, Paul B., is don't steal bikes. Oh, and I found no result for you Ironman time. How could you have lied to me, I thought we had a lot of trust going on? Have fun dealing with the mess you created, you moron.

Hugs and Kisses,
Charly

13 comments:

Gunnar said...

Excellent!

Chris said...

YOU ROCK!!!!!!!

Jenn said...

that's awesome!

Charlie Farrow said...

NO WAY!!!!!!!!!! So classic...
Great stuff....I am crying over here...this might get you into the DBD...
Hugs,
C

Brian D said...

Bravo Charly. If there were more of you out there prowling the streets bike theft would be a thing of the past.

Mario said...

No way. Seriously? If that's true, THAT'S AWESOME!

Chris B said...

Well done sir!

Anonymous said...

way to go :)

Janne K. Flisrand said...

thank yo0u

Anonymous said...

'It was a fully clothed police officer.'

Do you run into too many less-than-clothed police officers? Is there a nudist colony nearby you?

Anonymous said...

"Do you run into too many less-than-clothed police officers? Is there a nudist colony nearby you?"

That would be versus a "plain-clothes", i.e. undercover police officer.

llamma said...

Nice
Back in the mid 90's while in grad school I had my mountain bike stolen. Only to have it brought into the shop where I worked for repairs. When I called the guy to pick it up as it was ready for him to take I had a cop waiting for him as well. He did not show that day but the PoPo did catch up with him. This is the best way for the story to end.
Good work!!

Northstar Bikes said...

excellent!